Stop Intrusive Thoughts Chart

If I don’t do this perfectly, then I’m a complete failure.

All-or-nothing thinking: Viewing situations in black-and-white terms, where anything short of perfection is seen as total failure. This type of thinking overlooks any middle ground or partial successes.

When you catch yourself thinking in extremes, pause and look for middle-ground options. Remind yourself that partial success is still progress and doesn’t diminish the value of your efforts. Focus on what was accomplished and set realistic goals for the next step.

Counter thought:

Even if this isn’t perfect, it’s still a valuable effort.

Doing my best is enough. Nobody is perfect, and learning from mistakes is part of growth.

If I can’t be the best at it, there’s no point in trying at all.

All-or-nothing thinking: Viewing situations in black-and-white terms, where anything short of perfection is seen as total failure. This type of thinking overlooks any middle ground or partial successes.

When you catch yourself thinking in extremes, pause and look for middle-ground options. Remind yourself that partial success is still progress and doesn’t diminish the value of your efforts. Focus on what was accomplished and set realistic goals for the next step.

Counter thought:
Progress counts, even if it’s small steps.

Doing my best is enough. Nobody is perfect, and learning from mistakes is part of growth.

Either I succeed entirely, or this will have been a waste of time.

All-or-nothing thinking: Viewing situations in black-and-white terms, where anything short of perfection is seen as total failure. This type of thinking overlooks any middle ground or partial successes.

When you catch yourself thinking in extremes, pause and look for middle-ground options. Remind yourself that partial success is still progress and doesn’t diminish the value of your efforts. Focus on what was accomplished and set realistic goals for the next step.

Counter thought:
Life has shades of grey; it’s okay to do well without being flawless.

Even partial success or the experience itself can teach me valuable lessons.

I messed up this project, so I’m probably not good at my job at all.

Overgeneralising: Making broad, sweeping conclusions based on a single incident, like assuming a single setback will predict future outcomes. This pattern leads to seeing isolated events as reflective of overall patterns.

When one negative event occurs, notice if you’re making it a blanket statement about your entire life or future. Challenge this by reminding yourself that one instance doesn’t define the whole picture. Focus on specific, positive experiences to balance out your perspective.

Counter thought:
One experience doesn’t define everything.

One project doesn’t define my entire skill set. Mistakes happen to everyone.

One bad date means I’ll be single forever.

Overgeneralising: Making broad, sweeping conclusions based on a single incident, like assuming a single setback will predict future outcomes. This pattern leads to seeing isolated events as reflective of overall patterns.

When one negative event occurs, notice if you’re making it a blanket statement about your entire life or future. Challenge this by reminding yourself that one instance doesn’t define the whole picture. Focus on specific, positive experiences to balance out your perspective.

Counter thought:
This is a unique situation, and the next time could be different.

One experience doesn’t predict the future. Relationships take time to find and build.

I always make mistakes; I can’t do anything right.

Overgeneralising: Making broad, sweeping conclusions based on a single incident, like assuming a single setback will predict future outcomes. This pattern leads to seeing isolated events as reflective of overall patterns.

When one negative event occurs, notice if you’re making it a blanket statement about your entire life or future. Challenge this by reminding yourself that one instance doesn’t define the whole picture. Focus on specific, positive experiences to balance out your perspective.

Counter thought:
I can learn from this instead of assuming it’ll always happen.

I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve also achieved a lot. Mistakes don’t define me.

I got lots of compliments, but all I can think about is the one piece of criticism.

Filtering: Focusing only on negative details while ignoring any positive aspects of a situation. It’s like wearing a lens that only allows flaws or failures to be seen.

Practice balanced reflection by listing both positives and negatives in a situation. Aim to give equal attention to each point, even if the positives feel small. This process will help train your mind to notice and appreciate both sides.

Counter thought:
I may be focusing only on the negatives; let’s look for positives too.

Focusing on the compliments reminds me that I’m doing many things right.

I only remember the times I failed, not when I succeeded.

Filtering: Focusing only on negative details while ignoring any positive aspects of a situation. It’s like wearing a lens that only allows flaws or failures to be seen.

Practice balanced reflection by listing both positives and negatives in a situation. Aim to give equal attention to each point, even if the positives feel small. This process will help train your mind to notice and appreciate both sides.

Counter thought:
What went well in this situation?

It’s worth intentionally reflecting on my successes—they show my potential.

I forget the positives because the negatives are just too overwhelming.

Filtering: Focusing only on negative details while ignoring any positive aspects of a situation. It’s like wearing a lens that only allows flaws or failures to be seen.

Practice balanced reflection by listing both positives and negatives in a situation. Aim to give equal attention to each point, even if the positives feel small. This process will help train your mind to notice and appreciate both sides.

Counter thought:
There’s more to this than just the challenging parts.

I can take time to acknowledge the positives, which are equally important.

If I make a mistake, I’ll lose my job and never find work again.

Catastrophising: Imagining the worst possible outcome in any situation, even when it’s unlikely. This type of thinking intensifies feelings of fear and anxiety.

Write down the worst-case scenario you’re fearing, then list the likelihood and evidence for it. Next, create a more moderate scenario and imagine how you could handle it. Focus on practical actions to address any legitimate concerns, rather than dwelling on extremes.

Counter thought:
What are the realistic odds of the worst-case scenario happening?

Mistakes are part of work life, and most can be resolved or learned from.

If this relationship doesn’t work out, I’ll end up alone forever.

Catastrophising: Imagining the worst possible outcome in any situation, even when it’s unlikely. This type of thinking intensifies feelings of fear and anxiety.

Write down the worst-case scenario you’re fearing, then list the likelihood and evidence for it. Next, create a more moderate scenario and imagine how you could handle it. Focus on practical actions to address any legitimate concerns, rather than dwelling on extremes.

Counter thought:
Even if things go wrong, I can handle the outcome.

Relationships ending doesn’t mean I’ll always be alone. It’s a step toward finding the right one.

If I get a bad grade on this test, my entire future is ruined.

Catastrophising: Imagining the worst possible outcome in any situation, even when it’s unlikely. This type of thinking intensifies feelings of fear and anxiety.

Write down the worst-case scenario you’re fearing, then list the likelihood and evidence for it. Next, create a more moderate scenario and imagine how you could handle it. Focus on practical actions to address any legitimate concerns, rather than dwelling on extremes.

Counter thought:
Let’s focus on what’s in my control instead of imagining extremes.

One test won’t determine my entire future. I can still work toward my goals.

They didn’t reply to my message; they must be mad at me.

Mind-reading: Assuming you know what others are thinking, often that they’re judging or criticizing you. This pattern fuels social anxiety and insecurity.

Remind yourself that you can’t know what others think without clear evidence. When you feel judged, seek clarity by asking open questions if appropriate or reframing the thought. Shift your focus to how you perceive the situation rather than assuming others’ opinions.

Counter thought:
I can’t actually know what others think unless they tell me.

There could be many reasons they didn’t reply, and it’s unlikely about me.

Everyone probably thinks I’m incompetent after that presentation.

Mind-reading: Assuming you know what others are thinking, often that they’re judging or criticizing you. This pattern fuels social anxiety and insecurity.

Remind yourself that you can’t know what others think without clear evidence. When you feel judged, seek clarity by asking open questions if appropriate or reframing the thought. Shift your focus to how you perceive the situation rather than assuming others’ opinions.

Counter thought:
They might be focused on their own concerns, not judging me.

Most people focus on the content, not perfection. I probably did better than I think.

They smiled at me, but they’re probably just being polite.

Mind-reading: Assuming you know what others are thinking, often that they’re judging or criticizing you. This pattern fuels social anxiety and insecurity.

Remind yourself that you can’t know what others think without clear evidence. When you feel judged, seek clarity by asking open questions if appropriate or reframing the thought. Shift your focus to how you perceive the situation rather than assuming others’ opinions.

Counter thought:
Assuming others are critical doesn’t make it true.

A smile is a good thing—it’s okay to accept it as genuine kindness.

There’s no way this interview will go well. I just know it.

Fortune-telling: Believing you can predict how things will turn out, usually expecting negative outcomes. This often leads to self-fulfilling prophecies through avoidance or self-sabotage.

Whenever you predict a negative outcome, remind yourself that the future is uncertain. Practice mindfulness to focus on the present, letting go of imagined scenarios. Challenge your predictions by setting small, realistic goals and observing how things actually unfold.

Counter thought:
I can’t predict the future, so I’ll stay open to possibilities.

I’ve prepared, and I can handle the interview with confidence.

I’ll fail the test, so there’s no point in studying.

Fortune-telling: Believing you can predict how things will turn out, usually expecting negative outcomes. This often leads to self-fulfilling prophecies through avoidance or self-sabotage.

Whenever you predict a negative outcome, remind yourself that the future is uncertain. Practice mindfulness to focus on the present, letting go of imagined scenarios. Challenge your predictions by setting small, realistic goals and observing how things actually unfold.

Counter thought:
Just because I fear a bad outcome doesn’t mean it will happen.

Studying gives me a better chance, and even small efforts can make a big difference.

I’m going to embarrass myself at the meeting, I can feel it.

Fortune-telling: Believing you can predict how things will turn out, usually expecting negative outcomes. This often leads to self-fulfilling prophecies through avoidance or self-sabotage.

Whenever you predict a negative outcome, remind yourself that the future is uncertain. Practice mindfulness to focus on the present, letting go of imagined scenarios. Challenge your predictions by setting small, realistic goals and observing how things actually unfold.

Counter thought:
Let’s see how things actually unfold before deciding.

I’ve prepared, and even if I stumble, people are more understanding than I think.

Anyone could have done what I did; it’s not really an achievement.

Discounting the positive: Downplaying or dismissing any achievements or positive feedback. It makes any success feel unearned or insignificant.

Make a habit of listing small successes or positives daily, no matter how minor they seem. Challenge your tendency to downplay them by celebrating achievements with a friend or loved one. Gradually build confidence by reinforcing the positive impact of your contributions.

Counter thought:
My successes and strengths deserve recognition.

My work is unique to me, and it’s okay to be proud of my accomplishments.

Sure, I did well this time, but it doesn’t mean I’m actually good at it.

Discounting the positive: Downplaying or dismissing any achievements or positive feedback. It makes any success feel unearned or insignificant.

Make a habit of listing small successes or positives daily, no matter how minor they seem. Challenge your tendency to downplay them by celebrating achievements with a friend or loved one. Gradually build confidence by reinforcing the positive impact of your contributions.

Counter thought:
If others can see value in this, I can try to see it too.

Doing well repeatedly shows I have skill. It’s okay to trust my abilities.

They said I did a great job, but they were probably just being nice.

Discounting the positive: Downplaying or dismissing any achievements or positive feedback. It makes any success feel unearned or insignificant.

Make a habit of listing small successes or positives daily, no matter how minor they seem. Challenge your tendency to downplay them by celebrating achievements with a friend or loved one. Gradually build confidence by reinforcing the positive impact of your contributions.

Counter thought:
Each positive step is a building block, even if it feels small.

Compliments are often sincere. It’s okay to accept them without second-guessing.

I made a mistake, so I’m just an idiot.

Labelling: Assigning negative labels to yourself or others based on isolated actions, such as calling oneself a failure after one mistake. It turns behaviors into permanent traits, impacting self-esteem.

Replace negative labels with accurate descriptions of specific behaviors or events. Remind yourself that actions don’t define identity; everyone makes mistakes and also has strengths. Use compassionate self-talk, focusing on growth rather than judgment.

Counter thought:
One mistake doesn’t define my entire character.

Making a mistake doesn’t mean I’m not intelligent. It’s human to make some errors.

I didn’t complete the task, so I’m a lazy person.

Labelling: Assigning negative labels to yourself or others based on isolated actions, such as calling oneself a failure after one mistake. It turns behaviors into permanent traits, impacting self-esteem.

Replace negative labels with accurate descriptions of specific behaviors or events. Remind yourself that actions don’t define identity; everyone makes mistakes and also has strengths. Use compassionate self-talk, focusing on growth rather than judgment.

Counter thought:
I am more than any single moment or outcome.

Not completing one task doesn’t define me. I’m capable and hardworking overall.

I failed at that project; I’m such a loser.

Labelling: Assigning negative labels to yourself or others based on isolated actions, such as calling oneself a failure after one mistake. It turns behaviors into permanent traits, impacting self-esteem.

Replace negative labels with accurate descriptions of specific behaviors or events. Remind yourself that actions don’t define identity; everyone makes mistakes and also has strengths. Use compassionate self-talk, focusing on growth rather than judgment.

Counter thought:
Labels limit me; I am a complex person with many qualities.

Failure in one project doesn’t define my worth or potential.

I should be able to handle this without any trouble.

Should statements: Rigidly insisting on how things should be, leading to disappointment or guilt when reality doesn’t match expectations. It creates an inflexible standard for self and others.

Catch yourself when you say should and replace it with could to open up more flexible, realistic options. Reevaluate whether your should statements are based on personal values or external pressure. Focus on actions that are helpful and align with your goals rather than rigid rules.

Counter thought:
It’s okay to have flexible expectations.

It’s okay to struggle—growth happens when I face challenges.

I shouldn’t have to ask for help; I should know this already.

Should statements: Rigidly insisting on how things should be, leading to disappointment or guilt when reality doesn’t match expectations. It creates an inflexible standard for self and others.

Catch yourself when you say should and replace it with could to open up more flexible, realistic options. Reevaluate whether your should statements are based on personal values or external pressure. Focus on actions that are helpful and align with your goals rather than rigid rules.

Counter thought:
There’s no one ‘right’ way to do things.

Asking for help shows strength and a willingness to learn, not weakness.

I should be further along in my career by now.

Should statements: Rigidly insisting on how things should be, leading to disappointment or guilt when reality doesn’t match expectations. It creates an inflexible standard for self and others.

Catch yourself when you say should and replace it with could to open up more flexible, realistic options. Reevaluate whether your should statements are based on personal values or external pressure. Focus on actions that are helpful and align with your goals rather than rigid rules.

Counter thought:
I’ll focus on what’s helpful rather than what I think I ‘should’ do.

Everyone’s path is different, and progress is progress, no matter the pace.

I feel so anxious; this must mean I’m in danger.

Emotional reasoning: Assuming that emotions reflect objective truth, like believing something is hopeless simply because it feels that way. This pattern makes it difficult to see beyond momentary feelings.

When strong emotions arise, take a step back and examine any thoughts fueling them. Consider other perspectives and check if your feelings match reality. Balance emotions with rational thinking by asking, What are the facts in this situation?

Counter thought:
Just because I feel this way doesn’t make it true.

Anxiety is a natural response, but it doesn’t always reflect actual danger.

I feel inadequate, so I must be inadequate.

Emotional reasoning: Assuming that emotions reflect objective truth, like believing something is hopeless simply because it feels that way. This pattern makes it difficult to see beyond momentary feelings.

When strong emotions arise, take a step back and examine any thoughts fueling them. Consider other perspectives and check if your feelings match reality. Balance emotions with rational thinking by asking, What are the facts in this situation?

Counter thought:
My emotions are valid, but they don’t define reality.

Feelings of inadequacy are temporary and don’t define my true worth.

I’m nervous about this; that probably means I’m not ready.

Emotional reasoning: Assuming that emotions reflect objective truth, like believing something is hopeless simply because it feels that way. This pattern makes it difficult to see beyond momentary feelings.

When strong emotions arise, take a step back and examine any thoughts fueling them. Consider other perspectives and check if your feelings match reality. Balance emotions with rational thinking by asking, What are the facts in this situation?

Counter thought:
Let’s look at the facts as well as my feelings.

Nerves are normal and can mean I care about doing well. They don’t equal unpreparedness.

They looked upset—it must be because of something I did.

Personalisation: Taking responsibility for events that are out of your control or blaming yourself for others’ problems. This thought pattern often results in guilt or shame.

Remind yourself that you’re not responsible for everything, and separate what’s in your control from what isn’t. If a situation feels personal, ask whether there’s any real evidence supporting this interpretation. Focus on your responses rather than taking on blame.

Counter thought:
Not everything is within my control, and that’s okay.

Their emotions could have many causes unrelated to me.

My team didn’t succeed, and it’s all my fault.

Personalisation: Taking responsibility for events that are out of your control or blaming yourself for others’ problems. This thought pattern often results in guilt or shame.

Remind yourself that you’re not responsible for everything, and separate what’s in your control from what isn’t. If a situation feels personal, ask whether there’s any real evidence supporting this interpretation. Focus on your responses rather than taking on blame.

Counter thought:
Others’ actions aren’t always about me.

Success or failure is shared by the whole team, not just one person.

My friend didn’t text back, so I must have done something wrong.

Personalisation: Taking responsibility for events that are out of your control or blaming yourself for others’ problems. This thought pattern often results in guilt or shame.

Remind yourself that you’re not responsible for everything, and separate what’s in your control from what isn’t. If a situation feels personal, ask whether there’s any real evidence supporting this interpretation. Focus on your responses rather than taking on blame.

Counter thought:
I’ll focus on what I can change and accept what I can’t.

They might be busy or distracted, and it’s unlikely to be about me.

One mistake will ruin everything I’ve worked for.

Magnifying or minimising: Exaggerating the importance of problems or downplaying positive traits and accomplishments. It distorts reality, often creating unnecessary stress.

When you catch yourself magnifying a problem, take a step back and reassess its actual impact. Conversely, when minimizing positives, remind yourself that acknowledging strengths doesn’t equate to arrogance. Practice viewing things with a balanced perspective to appreciate both successes and challenges.

Counter thought:
Let’s view the situation as it really is, not just the extremes.

Mistakes are normal and often correctable. My hard work still stands.

I got a high grade, but it doesn’t really matter.

Magnifying or minimising: Exaggerating the importance of problems or downplaying positive traits and accomplishments. It distorts reality, often creating unnecessary stress.

When you catch yourself magnifying a problem, take a step back and reassess its actual impact. Conversely, when minimizing positives, remind yourself that acknowledging strengths doesn’t equate to arrogance. Practice viewing things with a balanced perspective to appreciate both successes and challenges.

Counter thought:
It’s okay to acknowledge positive aspects without downplaying them.

Every achievement matters, and this is proof of my effort and ability.

Everyone else’s accomplishments are huge; mine are tiny in comparison.

Magnifying or minimising: Exaggerating the importance of problems or downplaying positive traits and accomplishments. It distorts reality, often creating unnecessary stress.

When you catch yourself magnifying a problem, take a step back and reassess its actual impact. Conversely, when minimizing positives, remind yourself that acknowledging strengths doesn’t equate to arrogance. Practice viewing things with a balanced perspective to appreciate both successes and challenges.

Counter thought:

Comparison isn’t fair—my accomplishments are meaningful in my own journey.

They’re so much more successful than I am; I’ll never catch up.

Comparing: Constantly measuring yourself against others and feeling inferior. This pattern can lead to envy and dissatisfaction with one’s own life.

Limit your time on activities that trigger comparison, like social media. Focus on setting personal goals that align with your values rather than comparing to others. When comparisons arise, remind yourself that everyone has a unique path, and your worth is independent of others’ achievements.

Counter thought:
Everyone has their own journey, and so do I.

I’m making progress at my own pace.

Their life seems perfect, while mine is a mess.

Comparing: Constantly measuring yourself against others and feeling inferior. This pattern can lead to envy and dissatisfaction with one’s own life.

Limit your time on activities that trigger comparison, like social media. Focus on setting personal goals that align with your values rather than comparing to others. When comparisons arise, remind yourself that everyone has a unique path, and your worth is independent of others’ achievements.

Counter thought:
I don’t need to measure my worth against others.

What I see may not be the full picture. Everyone has challenges.

Everyone else seems to handle challenges better than I do.

Comparing: Constantly measuring yourself against others and feeling inferior. This pattern can lead to envy and dissatisfaction with one’s own life.

Limit your time on activities that trigger comparison, like social media. Focus on setting personal goals that align with your values rather than comparing to others. When comparisons arise, remind yourself that everyone has a unique path, and your worth is independent of others’ achievements.

Counter thought:
Comparing won’t change my situation; focusing on myself can.

I don’t see their struggles, and I handle challenges in my own way.

If it weren’t for them, I’d be so much happier.

Blaming: Shifting responsibility for one’s own emotions or outcomes onto others, rather than taking accountability. It prevents personal growth and resolution.

When you feel the urge to blame, take a step back and evaluate your own contributions and choices. Practice constructive problem-solving rather than focusing on who is at fault. Shift your mindset to What can I do next? to regain a sense of agency.

Counter thought:
What role can I play in improving things?

Happiness doesn't come just from others’ actions.

My boss is the reason I can’t enjoy my work.

Blaming: Shifting responsibility for one’s own emotions or outcomes onto others, rather than taking accountability. It prevents personal growth and resolution.

When you feel the urge to blame, take a step back and evaluate your own contributions and choices. Practice constructive problem-solving rather than focusing on who is at fault. Shift your mindset to What can I do next? to regain a sense of agency.

Counter thought:
I’ll focus on solutions rather than assigning blame.

While my boss influences my work, I can still find ways to create satisfaction.

I wouldn’t have failed if they had helped me.

Blaming: Shifting responsibility for one’s own emotions or outcomes onto others, rather than taking accountability. It prevents personal growth and resolution.

When you feel the urge to blame, take a step back and evaluate your own contributions and choices. Practice constructive problem-solving rather than focusing on who is at fault. Shift your mindset to What can I do next? to regain a sense of agency.

Counter thought:
I can’t control others, but I can control my response.

Failure can be a learning opportunity, regardless of others’ involvement.

I don’t think I’m smart enough to succeed here.

Self-doubt: Constantly questioning your abilities or decisions, assuming inadequacy. This type of thinking holds you back from pursuing goals or taking risks.

Write down evidence of your past accomplishments and revisit this list when self-doubt arises. Set small, achievable goals to build confidence gradually. Remind yourself that doubt is normal, but it doesn’t define your capability.

Counter thought:
I’ve handled challenges before; I can handle this too.

I’m capable of learning and growing, just like everyone else.

What if I’m not really qualified for this role?

Self-doubt: Constantly questioning your abilities or decisions, assuming inadequacy. This type of thinking holds you back from pursuing goals or taking risks.

Write down evidence of your past accomplishments and revisit this list when self-doubt arises. Set small, achievable goals to build confidence gradually. Remind yourself that doubt is normal, but it doesn’t define your capability.

Counter thought:
My skills and decisions deserve respect.

If I was chosen, I’m qualified. I can always improve with experience.

I doubt I’ll be able to manage this task.

Self-doubt: Constantly questioning your abilities or decisions, assuming inadequacy. This type of thinking holds you back from pursuing goals or taking risks.

Write down evidence of your past accomplishments and revisit this list when self-doubt arises. Set small, achievable goals to build confidence gradually. Remind yourself that doubt is normal, but it doesn’t define your capability.

Counter thought:
Doubting myself doesn’t make it true.

Breaking it into steps can make it more manageable.

This probably won’t work out, so why even try?

Pessimism: Expecting the worst in every situation and believing that negative outcomes are likely. It often leads to feelings of hopelessness and inaction.

Challenge pessimistic thoughts by identifying any realistic positive outcomes. Practice gratitude by noting one positive thing each day, however small. Reframe situations by asking yourself, What’s one good thing that could happen here?

Counter thought:
Not everything will turn out badly; good outcomes are possible.

Trying gives me a chance to succeed or learn, even if it’s challenging.

There’s no way I can succeed at this.

Pessimism: Expecting the worst in every situation and believing that negative outcomes are likely. It often leads to feelings of hopelessness and inaction.

Challenge pessimistic thoughts by identifying any realistic positive outcomes. Practice gratitude by noting one positive thing each day, however small. Reframe situations by asking yourself, What’s one good thing that could happen here?

Counter thought:
I’ll stay open to positive outcomes, too.

I won’t know until I try, and effort can lead to surprising outcomes.

Things always seem to go wrong for me.

Pessimism: Expecting the worst in every situation and believing that negative outcomes are likely. It often leads to feelings of hopelessness and inaction.

Challenge pessimistic thoughts by identifying any realistic positive outcomes. Practice gratitude by noting one positive thing each day, however small. Reframe situations by asking yourself, What’s one good thing that could happen here?

Counter thought:
Let’s wait for the actual outcome instead of assuming the worst.

Good things happen too; it’s just harder to notice them sometimes.

They probably think I’m not good enough.

Jumping to conclusions: Making quick, usually negative assumptions without evidence. This pattern drives impulsive decisions and prevents open-mindedness.

When you feel yourself making assumptions, pause and look for actual evidence. Practice curiosity by asking open questions to clarify rather than assuming. Approach situations with an open mind, seeking facts rather than conclusions.

Counter thought:
I don’t have all the facts yet, so I’ll hold off on assumptions.

I can’t know what others think, and their opinions don’t define my worth.

This is going to end badly; I can just tell.

Jumping to conclusions: Making quick, usually negative assumptions without evidence. This pattern drives impulsive decisions and prevents open-mindedness.

When you feel yourself making assumptions, pause and look for actual evidence. Practice curiosity by asking open questions to clarify rather than assuming. Approach situations with an open mind, seeking facts rather than conclusions.

Counter thought:
I’ll ask questions rather than make quick judgments.

I can’t predict the future, and it’s possible things will go well.

I know they’re annoyed with me, even if they haven’t said it.

Jumping to conclusions: Making quick, usually negative assumptions without evidence. This pattern drives impulsive decisions and prevents open-mindedness.

When you feel yourself making assumptions, pause and look for actual evidence. Practice curiosity by asking open questions to clarify rather than assuming. Approach situations with an open mind, seeking facts rather than conclusions.

Counter thought:
Let’s see things more clearly before drawing conclusions.

I can ask if something’s wrong instead of assuming.

I should be able to finish all of this work perfectly and on time.

Unrealistic expectations: Holding yourself or others to unattainable standards, leading to chronic dissatisfaction. It fuels feelings of failure and frustration.

Break down large goals into smaller, achievable steps and celebrate each milestone. Regularly remind yourself that progress, not perfection, is the aim. Adjust your expectations to reflect realistic goals that are aligned with your well-being and growth.

Counter thought:
It’s okay to have goals that are achievable, not just perfect.

Perfection isn’t always possible, and doing my best is enough.

I can’t believe I didn’t do this flawlessly.

Unrealistic expectations: Holding yourself or others to unattainable standards, leading to chronic dissatisfaction. It fuels feelings of failure and frustration.

Break down large goals into smaller, achievable steps and celebrate each milestone. Regularly remind yourself that progress, not perfection, is the aim. Adjust your expectations to reflect realistic goals that are aligned with your well-being and growth.

Counter thought:
Progress matters more than rigid standards.

Mistakes are part of learning and improving.

I expect myself to know how to handle everything on my own.

Unrealistic expectations: Holding yourself or others to unattainable standards, leading to chronic dissatisfaction. It fuels feelings of failure and frustration.

Break down large goals into smaller, achievable steps and celebrate each milestone. Regularly remind yourself that progress, not perfection, is the aim. Adjust your expectations to reflect realistic goals that are aligned with your well-being and growth.

Counter thought:
I’ll be kind to myself and allow room for growth.

Nobody knows everything—asking for help is a sign of strength.

This probably means they’re going to break up with me.

Assuming the worst: Believing that the worst-case scenario is the most probable outcome in any situation. This type of thinking breeds anxiety and hesitation.

Pause when a negative assumption arises, and challenge yourself to think of a neutral or positive possibility. Practice optimism by balancing your view with evidence of past positive experiences. Focus on proactive steps to address concerns rather than waiting for the worst.

Counter thought:
The worst case is just one of many possibilities.

One moment doesn’t always predict the future of the relationship.

I’m sure I won’t get that promotion.

Assuming the worst: Believing that the worst-case scenario is the most probable outcome in any situation. This type of thinking breeds anxiety and hesitation.

Pause when a negative assumption arises, and challenge yourself to think of a neutral or positive possibility. Practice optimism by balancing your view with evidence of past positive experiences. Focus on proactive steps to address concerns rather than waiting for the worst.

Counter thought:
I’ll focus on staying prepared, not assuming negativity.

I don’t know the outcome yet, but I can focus on what I can control.

I’ll probably fail this test no matter how much I study.

Assuming the worst: Believing that the worst-case scenario is the most probable outcome in any situation. This type of thinking breeds anxiety and hesitation.

Pause when a negative assumption arises, and challenge yourself to think of a neutral or positive possibility. Practice optimism by balancing your view with evidence of past positive experiences. Focus on proactive steps to address concerns rather than waiting for the worst.

Counter thought:
Expecting the worst doesn’t help; I’ll focus on what I can do.

Studying increases my chances of success, even if it feels uncertain.

Things will never get better for me.

Feeling hopeless: Believing that things will never improve, leading to resignation and lack of motivation. This thought pattern can spiral into depression.

When feeling hopeless, take small steps to create positive change in your environment. Set realistic goals that give a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Surround yourself with supportive people who reinforce a hopeful perspective.

Counter thought:
Even small actions can help me feel more hopeful.

Things can and often do improve with time and effort.

No matter what I do, nothing seems to change.

Feeling hopeless: Believing that things will never improve, leading to resignation and lack of motivation. This thought pattern can spiral into depression.

When feeling hopeless, take small steps to create positive change in your environment. Set realistic goals that give a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Surround yourself with supportive people who reinforce a hopeful perspective.

Counter thought:
This feeling is temporary and doesn’t define my future.

Small actions can build momentum, even if it’s not obvious right away.

I’m stuck, and there’s no way out.

Feeling hopeless: Believing that things will never improve, leading to resignation and lack of motivation. This thought pattern can spiral into depression.

When feeling hopeless, take small steps to create positive change in your environment. Set realistic goals that give a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Surround yourself with supportive people who reinforce a hopeful perspective.

Counter thought:
I’ll look for reasons to be hopeful, even in small things.

There’s always a way forward, even if I can’t see it yet.

If it’s not perfect, then it’s a failure.

Perfectionism: Setting impossibly high standards and feeling like a failure if they’re not met. This leads to constant pressure and dissatisfaction, even with accomplishments.

Practice self-compassion by accepting that mistakes are part of learning and growth. Set realistic, flexible goals that emphasize progress rather than perfection. Regularly remind yourself that worth isn’t tied to flawless outcomes.

Counter thought:
Done is better than perfect; I can be proud of my effort.

Imperfection doesn’t equal failure—it’s a chance to learn and grow.

I can’t let anyone see this unless it’s flawless.

Perfectionism: Setting impossibly high standards and feeling like a failure if they’re not met. This leads to constant pressure and dissatisfaction, even with accomplishments.

Practice self-compassion by accepting that mistakes are part of learning and growth. Set realistic, flexible goals that emphasize progress rather than perfection. Regularly remind yourself that worth isn’t tied to flawless outcomes.

Counter thought:
I’ll celebrate progress, not just perfection.

Sharing imperfect work can lead to valuable feedback and growth.

Mistakes aren’t acceptable under any circumstances.

Perfectionism: Setting impossibly high standards and feeling like a failure if they’re not met. This leads to constant pressure and dissatisfaction, even with accomplishments.

Practice self-compassion by accepting that mistakes are part of learning and growth. Set realistic, flexible goals that emphasize progress rather than perfection. Regularly remind yourself that worth isn’t tied to flawless outcomes.

Counter thought:
It’s okay to make mistakes; they’re part of learning.

Mistakes are human and often lead to improvement and insight.

That was just luck; it wasn’t really because of my skills.

Disqualifying achievements: Finding ways to undermine or invalidate your own accomplishments, feeling they don’t count. This habit erodes confidence and keeps you feeling inadequate.

Keep a journal of achievements, big or small, and revisit it regularly to remind yourself of progress. Share accomplishments with trusted people who can provide a balanced perspective. Practice acknowledging achievements without downplaying their importance.

Counter thought:
My achievements are real and deserve acknowledgment.

Luck may help, but my skills and effort played a big role.

Sure, I did well, but it wasn’t that hard anyway.

Disqualifying achievements: Finding ways to undermine or invalidate your own accomplishments, feeling they don’t count. This habit erodes confidence and keeps you feeling inadequate.

Keep a journal of achievements, big or small, and revisit it regularly to remind yourself of progress. Share accomplishments with trusted people who can provide a balanced perspective. Practice acknowledging achievements without downplaying their importance.

Counter thought:
I worked hard for this, and it’s okay to feel proud.

Doing well still reflects my ability, no matter how easy it seemed.

Anyone could have done what I did.

Disqualifying achievements: Finding ways to undermine or invalidate your own accomplishments, feeling they don’t count. This habit erodes confidence and keeps you feeling inadequate.

Keep a journal of achievements, big or small, and revisit it regularly to remind yourself of progress. Share accomplishments with trusted people who can provide a balanced perspective. Practice acknowledging achievements without downplaying their importance.

Counter thought:
Celebrating successes doesn’t make me arrogant.

My unique perspective and effort made it possible.

I can’t take that risk because I might fail.

Fear of failure: Avoiding new experiences or challenges due to an overwhelming fear of not succeeding. This prevents personal growth and opportunities.

Challenge the fear by setting small, manageable goals that allow for gradual risk-taking. Reflect on past successes where initial failures led to learning or growth. Shift your focus from outcomes to the value of the experience itself.

Counter thought:
Every effort is a chance to grow, not just succeed or fail.

Taking risks can lead to growth and new opportunities.

If I fail, everyone will look down on me.

Fear of failure: Avoiding new experiences or challenges due to an overwhelming fear of not succeeding. This prevents personal growth and opportunities.

Challenge the fear by setting small, manageable goals that allow for gradual risk-taking. Reflect on past successes where initial failures led to learning or growth. Shift your focus from outcomes to the value of the experience itself.

Counter thought:
I can learn from any outcome, even if it’s not ideal.

Most people respect effort and courage, even if things don’t work out.

Trying something new just sets me up for failure.

Fear of failure: Avoiding new experiences or challenges due to an overwhelming fear of not succeeding. This prevents personal growth and opportunities.

Challenge the fear by setting small, manageable goals that allow for gradual risk-taking. Reflect on past successes where initial failures led to learning or growth. Shift your focus from outcomes to the value of the experience itself.

Counter thought:
Taking risks is a part of progress, even if there’s a chance of failure.

Trying new things helps me grow, even if it’s challenging.

I keep going over that mistake in my mind, and I can’t stop.

Ruminating: Repeatedly dwelling on negative thoughts or past events, even when they can’t be changed. This pattern amplifies distress and keeps you stuck in a cycle of worry.

Set a specific worry time each day, then redirect your focus afterward. Practice grounding exercises or mindfulness to help stay present and reduce repetitive thoughts. Channel energy into action-oriented tasks or creative outlets to break the cycle.

Counter thought:
I can’t change the past, but I can focus on the present.

I can learn from the past and move forward.

I keep replaying that embarrassing moment over and over.

Ruminating: Repeatedly dwelling on negative thoughts or past events, even when they can’t be changed. This pattern amplifies distress and keeps you stuck in a cycle of worry.

Set a specific worry time each day, then redirect your focus afterward. Practice grounding exercises or mindfulness to help stay present and reduce repetitive thoughts. Channel energy into action-oriented tasks or creative outlets to break the cycle.

Counter thought:
Let’s focus on solutions instead of reliving the problem.

Everyone makes mistakes, and most people forget others' mistakes quickly.

I can’t stop thinking about what I should have done differently.

Ruminating: Repeatedly dwelling on negative thoughts or past events, even when they can’t be changed. This pattern amplifies distress and keeps you stuck in a cycle of worry.

Set a specific worry time each day, then redirect your focus afterward. Practice grounding exercises or mindfulness to help stay present and reduce repetitive thoughts. Channel energy into action-oriented tasks or creative outlets to break the cycle.

Counter thought:
I’ll set a time limit for reflecting, then shift my focus.

Reflection is useful, but it’s also important to forgive myself and move on.

Nothing good ever happens to me.

Victim mentality: Believing that you’re powerless and that bad things will always happen to you. This mindset limits agency and reinforces feelings of helplessness.

Focus on what aspects of the situation you can control, no matter how small. Set small, empowering goals to gradually regain a sense of agency. Seek support from people who encourage growth rather than reinforce a sense of helplessness.

Counter thought:
I have the power to make changes in my life.

There have been good moments; I just need to focus on recognising them.

Other people have it so much easier than I do.

Victim mentality: Believing that you’re powerless and that bad things will always happen to you. This mindset limits agency and reinforces feelings of helplessness.

Focus on what aspects of the situation you can control, no matter how small. Set small, empowering goals to gradually regain a sense of agency. Seek support from people who encourage growth rather than reinforce a sense of helplessness.

Counter thought:
Your challenges can be opportunities to grow.

Everyone faces challenges, even if I don’t see them.

Everything bad seems to happen to me.

Victim mentality: Believing that you’re powerless and that bad things will always happen to you. This mindset limits agency and reinforces feelings of helplessness.

Focus on what aspects of the situation you can control, no matter how small. Set small, empowering goals to gradually regain a sense of agency. Seek support from people who encourage growth rather than reinforce a sense of helplessness.

Counter thought:
I’ll focus on what I can control rather than feeling powerless.

Bad things happen to everyone, but I can work on focusing on the positives.

I don’t want to ask because they’ll probably say no.

Fear of rejection: Expecting others to reject or disapprove of you, leading to social withdrawal or people-pleasing. This fear limits genuine connections and authenticity.

Remind yourself that rejection is a normal part of life and doesn’t define your worth. Practice self-acceptance to reduce the need for external validation. Focus on building connections with people who value and support you as you are.

Counter thought:
Not everyone will accept me, and that’s okay.

I won’t know their answer unless I ask, and they might say yes.

They’re not going to want to be friends with me.

Victim mentality: Believing that you’re powerless and that bad things will always happen to you. This mindset limits agency and reinforces feelings of helplessness.

Focus on what aspects of the situation you can control, no matter how small. Set small, empowering goals to gradually regain a sense of agency. Seek support from people who encourage growth rather than reinforce a sense of helplessness.

Counter thought:
I’ll focus on what I can control rather than feeling powerless.

Friendship grows over time, and I have qualities others will appreciate.

If I open up, they’ll just reject me.

Fear of rejection: Expecting others to reject or disapprove of you, leading to social withdrawal or people-pleasing. This fear limits genuine connections and authenticity.

Remind yourself that rejection is a normal part of life and doesn’t define your worth. Practice self-acceptance to reduce the need for external validation. Focus on building connections with people who value and support you as you are.

Counter thought:
I don’t need everyone’s approval to feel valued.

Opening up creates opportunities for connection and understanding.

I don’t deserve this success; they’ll find out I’m a fraud.

Imposter syndrome: Feeling like a fraud despite achievements, fearing exposure as incompetent. This leads to constant anxiety and undervaluing one’s skills.

Keep a record of positive feedback and achievements to review when feeling like an imposter. Acknowledge that self-doubt is common, even among high achievers. Gradually expose yourself to new challenges to build confidence in your abilities.

Counter thought:
My achievements are real, even if they feel unfamiliar.

I earned this success through my hard work and abilities.

Everyone else is so much better than me.

Imposter syndrome: Feeling like a fraud despite achievements, fearing exposure as incompetent. This leads to constant anxiety and undervaluing one’s skills.

Keep a record of positive feedback and achievements to review when feeling like an imposter. Acknowledge that self-doubt is common, even among high achievers. Gradually expose yourself to new challenges to build confidence in your abilities.

Counter thought:
I deserve to be here, just as much as anyone else.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and I have my own unique talents.

I’m not as competent as people think I am.

Imposter syndrome: Feeling like a fraud despite achievements, fearing exposure as incompetent. This leads to constant anxiety and undervaluing one’s skills.

Keep a record of positive feedback and achievements to review when feeling like an imposter. Acknowledge that self-doubt is common, even among high achievers. Gradually expose yourself to new challenges to build confidence in your abilities.

Counter thought:
I’ll trust that others see my value as well.

Others’ belief in me is likely based on my demonstrated abilities.

I only notice the things I messed up.

Selective attention to negatives: Only noticing flaws or setbacks, even when surrounded by positive feedback or events. This bias creates a distorted, negatively-skewed view of reality.

Challenge this habit by intentionally looking for positives and writing them down daily. Practice gratitude by noting things you appreciate each day, even minor ones. Make it a habit to remind yourself that both positives and negatives coexist in every situation.

Counter thought:
There are positive aspects I can focus on, too.

I can intentionally focus on what I did well to balance my perspective.

I focus only on the areas where I need improvement, not where I did well.

Selective attention to negatives: Only noticing flaws or setbacks, even when surrounded by positive feedback or events. This bias creates a distorted, negatively-skewed view of reality.

Challenge this habit by intentionally looking for positives and writing them down daily. Practice gratitude by noting things you appreciate each day, even minor ones. Make it a habit to remind yourself that both positives and negatives coexist in every situation.

Counter thought:
Let’s look for a balanced view of the situation.

Recognising my strengths is just as important as identifying areas to improve.

The negative parts of my day stand out more than the positive ones.

Selective attention to negatives: Only noticing flaws or setbacks, even when surrounded by positive feedback or events. This bias creates a distorted, negatively-skewed view of reality.

Challenge this habit by intentionally looking for positives and writing them down daily. Practice gratitude by noting things you appreciate each day, even minor ones. Make it a habit to remind yourself that both positives and negatives coexist in every situation.

Counter thought:
Even if there are negatives, I can appreciate the positives.

Taking time to reflect on the positives can help shift my perspective.